7th February 2018
Having 'the Talk' Today
Birds and the Bees by the Book
reviewed by Lisa Yew
"Where did I come from?" It's the question that makes parents and carers to squirm, but these days it seems so much more complicated. Questions that children may or may not be asking out loud still need clear answers. Is it ok to look like me? Why do two men want to marry each other? Am I really a girl? Why do those pictures make me feel so good? How do we teach our children to think biblically about sex and sexuality in our current world? And how do we do it without needing an industrial plunger to remove our foot from our mouth?
Patricia Weerakoon's picture book set Birds and Bees by the Book, illustrated by Lisa Flanagan is a great tool for introducing these and other issues around sex. Consisting of six books, the set looks at different kinds of families, the body, the brain, gender, sex and pornography in an age-appropriate, biblical, and straightforward way.
Each book is underpinned with a relevant truth from the Bible. They look at how the first family was made, that God wonderfully made our bodies and brains, and sex as a part of a marriage relationship. This focus teaches children to approach sexuality as a positive thing created by God.
The books explore the good aspects, and the potential pitfalls of each topic. From recognising that many families differ from nuclear families, to avoiding images that are unhealthy for your brain, to valuing bodies that don't conform to media images, to rejecting inappropriate touch, these books are filled with good safeguards that are relevant for today.
It sensitively broaches current issues around sexuality. In previous generations, people didn't talk about transgender or homosexuality, especially not to children, and there was little chance of viewing pornography. Today, this is not so. Birds and Bees by the Book appropriately defines what these are, but importantly also what they are not. Gender is not about stereotypical behaviours, and the friendship love you feel doesn't define your sexual orientation. Thus, confusion around what to think and how to behave in light of todays issues is minimised.
Godly attitudes and behaviours are encouraged, especially that of loving different kinds of people. There is a strong warning not to bully, and to report any bullying of anyone. Instead, children are encouraged to be kind to boys who look or behave like girls and vice versa, or to people with different sexual orientations. Just as Jesus loved all kinds of people, the books encourage children to follow his example.
Children everywhere can benefit from this excellent resource. The style of the writing is concise and factual and concepts are introduced simply and clearly. The pictures show children and families from a range of ethnic backgrounds in action and having fun. Rather than being clinical, the pictures support the writing in the style of picture story books. These books are invaluable for seven to ten-year olds, as a fantastic starting point for that awkward conversation parents dread.
Parents and carers need no longer fear talking about the birds and the bees. Even though the topic has become more complicated in recent years, we can springboard from the Birds and Bees by the Book set and begin the conversation with our children. We can flesh out the issues with our own anecdotes and examples, and be a clear light that helps children navigate through our hyper-sexualised culture. So, there are no more excuses to put off having 'the talk,' Birds and Bees by the Book equips you to have the talk today.
Lisa Yew is married to Manfred Yew, the Assistant Pastor at Belrose Uniting Church, NSW and mother of four young daughters.
Note: The accompanying web site has support information: http://birdsandbeesbooks.com/