13^th April 2015

I have long been intrigued by Hollywood movies about marriage. There are many amazing, encouraging and intriguing films. You may have a favourite yourself. I would be interested to explore some themes here and if you are interested in suggesting a film please let me know at the ACC office.  It is perhaps an irony that while there are many marriage failures on screen and in real life, Hollywood loves films about marriage. It is also worth noting that there has been little focus on homosexual marriage, probably because Hollywood knows that the films would not be financially rewarding. Hollywood films in the main still focus on key themes about marriage, including:

Marriage being for life (eg., Up (2009) and Shadowlands (1993)

Marriage is monogamous and the negative impact of adultery and deceit, eg., Shoot the Moon (1982) and The Wedding Singer (1998)

Marriage being between a man and a woman and marriages bearing children, eg., Parenthood (1989).

There is of course the Christian ‘Hollywood’ film Fireproof (2008), (reviewed in ACCatalyst June 2010). This received wide commercial distribution in the USA, and was used extensively in discussion based church film screenings. It lead the way to more ‘successful’ Christian films, such as Courageous (2011), where marriage also features front and centre.

Following on from my review comments (above) which were published in the March 2015 ACCatalyst, the following short comments are offered.

Parenthood (M, 1989)

As a director, Ron Howard has made many fine and enjoyable films. One of those significant films focused on relationships and especially families. While many films look mainly at the marriage, this one has an integral consideration of the family and has many amusing, and sometimes very reflective scenes that will help people think more deeply about the deep love that should be found within the married couple as they care for and nurture their children.

Four Weddings and a Funeral (M, 1994).

The film that launched Hugh Grant’s somewhat intriguing career has had more re-runs on TV than most films, touches on many aspects of marriage. The search for love that is lasting is the central theme, and this is encapsulated in the film’s hit song Love is All Around. This film also includes an early consideration of the relationship of a homosexual couple and the issues that develop in terms of the marriage culture around them, which in hindsight now could be seen as a prominent shot across the bow in terms of the move toward marriage revisionism.

The M rating was mainly for its wider use of the popular vernacular that upper-educated young English people seem to consider makes them Brighton Rock rebels.  

Religion features prominently, with clergy officiating and also many comments peppered throughout, but few have a personal connection with faith. The film is almost infamous for Rowan Atkinson’s role as Father Gerald and his bumbling and mostly excruciating attempt at officiating at his first wedding.

The overall orientation of most of the characters is toward their own enjoyment, but every now and then love hits home, but the spectre of commitment is the challenge, and for the central character Charles, an almost impossible undertaking.

I see this film as really the ultimate story for a contemporary de facto world as the central ‘couple’ want to have the commitment of marriage without the public recognition, and indeed without the blessing of God. As Charles puts his ‘proposal’ to Carrie when they are standing in the rain:

Let me ask you one thing. Do you think – after we’ve dried off, after we’ve spent lots more time together – you might agree *not* to marry me? And do you think not being married to me might maybe be something you could consider doing for the rest of your life?

And her response is: I do.

The Wedding Singer (M, 1998)

One of the fascinating aspects of this film is the overall promotion of monogamy and marriage being for life as the base for marriage. This is especially highlighted as faithfulness of ‘older’ couples is highlighted in cameo parts that often reveal the common understanding of grace and love that is extended to all couples. This is a somewhat chaotic and comedy with a real bite as ‘the wedding singer’ pines for his true love, while she is about to be wed by a man who will never be faithful to her.

License to Wed (M, 2007)

I reviewed this in the second year of our magazine and wanted to extract a comment again, especially as it highlighted the work of the late Robin Williams as Episcopalian minister Father Frank, a somewhat blatantly offensive and confrontational man, but with the necessary heart of gold. While this is certainly not a great film, I wish to acknowledge the helpful focus on pre-marital counselling. This is a solid consideration of the need to examine relationship issues and some of the sessions and role plays they have to undertake certainly raise critical relationship issues. He even has a contract which stipulates that the couple must refrain from having sexual intercourse until their wedding. Given that the majority of couples marrying cohabit today, I wonder how this would be received by an intended couple?

Lastly two intriguing Comments?

I was doing a search on marriage and movies, and on one site that had a list for the top ten movies about marriage and romance was an advertisement for a private investigation form that specialised in finding cheating husbands. What does this tell us about our conflicted society?

Secondly, I came across a very interesting study from the University of Rochester which was published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. The researchers worked with couples on movie-based counselling and found that couples who watched relationship-centred movies (colloquially term ‘chick flicks’), and discussed them afterwards were more likely to still be together after three years.

 

Peter Bentley